


in love, we have found the next

by snapfreeze



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6737356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapfreeze/pseuds/snapfreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia Clark and Elyza Lex never really put much stock into the whole soulmates thing, and finding each other isn’t exactly their highest priority during the end of the world.</p><p>Loosely based on that au where everything you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate’s too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this is what sitting into long case conferences does to me i s2g
> 
> Bold: soulmate messages from alicia  
> Bold italics: soulmate messages from elyza

Alicia finds out that she has a soulmate when she’s five. The black lines appear on the palm of her hand during one lunch time in kindergarten, and she watches as the lines bend and join to form what is clearly a cartoon poop. She jumps, immediately grabbing the nearest pen and scribbling it all over the drawing in an attempt to hide it. The sparkly purple ink does little to mask the drawing underneath so Alicia shoves her hand under the table instead. She glances around, thankful that no one seemed to notice her little exchange.

The bell rings before Alicia can retaliate, and it’s not until much later that she finds the small green dinosaur drawn onto her upper arm.

* * *

  
Stephen Clark picks her up and spins her around the lounge room when she shows him the drawings on her body. Alicia giggles, happy at the sound of her father’s laughter and wraps her arms around his neck when he holds her close.

“You have a soulmate, baby girl!” He whispers to her, like he’s revealing a huge secret.

“Are we gonna be like you and mama?”

He knows that soulmates more often than not end up together, but a lot of the ones who don’t are the stories that should be avoided. But still, he doesn’t want to crush his five year old’s dreams with heartbreak and mutual disinterest. “Maybe, Leashy-Loo, maybe. We’ll have to wait and see. Soulmates don’t have to be like your mother and I; they can just be best friends too!”

Instead of the expected forlorn expression at his not really confirmation, Alicia’s expression only becomes more awed, looking up at him with such wonderment. “What’s it like, daddy?”

Stephen glances over at the dining room where Madison is helping Nick with his homework. Nick’s short legs dangle off the chair, his face screwed up in concentration as Madison patiently explains the complexities of double digit multiplication. The rush of affection that washes over him at the sight of his soulmate and his son almost knocks him breathless.

“You know how in summer ice cream always tastes the best on the hottest days? How it always feels so good to come home on a Friday afternoon after a long day at school? How a Christmas present is always so much better if you’ve been asking Santa for a long time?”

Alicia nods enthusiastically, and Stephen kisses her forehead before continuing.

“Being with your soulmate is a lot like having those feelings every time you look at them, every time you spend time with each other. You don’t even need to be doing anything special with them, you can just be sitting near them and saying nothing, and it will still feel the same. It feels like everything just… falls into place.”

Alicia’s face lights up as she contemplates feeling _that_ good forever. Her expression doesn't last for long though, scrunching her nose as she no doubt thinks of something unpleasant.

“I think my soulmate is a boy.”

Stephen laughs, tweaking Alicia’s nose. “What makes you say that, baby girl?”

“ ‘Cause he drew poo and a dinosaur.” Alicia wrinkles her nose further. “I bet he’s a smelly boy.”

“Or they could be a smelly girl. Girls can like drawing poops and dinosaurs too. _Anyone_ can like drawing poops and dinosaurs.”

Alicia takes the time to process the new information, sitting silently on her father’s lap before she looks up at him with wide eyes. “Can I ask, daddy?”

Stephen’s eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles. “Of course, Leesha.”

He reaches forward, swiping the abandoned pen lying on his crossword book and turns back to his daughter, who is practically vibrating with excitement. He offers her the pen, and Alicia snatches it immediately.

She presses the tip of the pen to her arm, and her face falls slightly. “What should I write?”

Stephen kisses the top of her head before he answers. “Make it simple. ‘What is your name?’”

Alicia nods eagerly. The words form on her skin and she curls her whole fist around the pen when she’s finished. The ink on her skin almost feels like it’s burning. She’s only dimly aware of the way her dad’s hands tighten slightly on her arm.

They don’t have to wait long. The reply appears on Alicia’s arm, the letters poorly formed and written in what they assume is dark orange texta but the name appears nonetheless.

**_elyza_ **

Alicia wastes no time in writing back.

**my name is alicia**

* * *

**  
** **_did you know that girl lions do all the hunting? the boy lions are useless and just eat the food that the girls bring_ **

Alicia almost snorts out loud into the quiet classroom. She can barely make out the words on her arm in the darkness of the room, and she has to squint at them in the dim light of the television. She takes the secret pen that she keeps in her pocket out and uncaps it, bringing it to her arm.

**boys are gross**

It’s not often that they talk to each other, preferring instead to draw each other silly pictures, but Elyza will sometimes spout some random animal fact. It’s odd, and Alicia doesn't know why she does it, but the sight of it never fails to make her smile.

**_girls are better_ **

Alicia has to agree with that.

**how do you know so much about animals?**

**_my ma tells me about animals when im sad and it makes me feel better. im your soulmate and i want to make sure youre not sad_ **

Alicia’s not sure why, but her tummy tingles when she reads Elyza’s reply over and over again. She decides that it’s a nice feeling and it makes her smile. She’s not sure what to say, but she can’t leave her soulmate without a reply.

**:)**

* * *

**  
** It’s not until Elyza stops drawing on her that Alicia realises how much she looks forward to it. Despite the numerous times that she tries to coax Elyza into talking to her again, the other girl never responds. It takes Alicia several months before she finally gives up.

Her father’s arms settle around her shoulders when she confides in him and she buries herself in his embrace. “I just don’t understand, dad.”

Stephen makes a sympathetic noise, rubbing his daughter’s back soothingly. “I’m sure it’s not you, baby girl. Something bad might have happened to her and she just doesn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“But if something bad happened, I want to help her. We’re soulmates; isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”

“Sometimes you can’t force someone to let you help them. She knows you want to help and if she wants you to help her, she’ll tell you.”

Alicia’s not sure if she agrees because despite how little they actually _talk_ , she knows that Elyza is nothing but stubborn. Still, she wants to stop the hollow sad feeling in the pit of her gut, so she lets herself believe her dad’s words. She promises herself that she’s only going to send one more message before letting it go.

**flamingoes can only eat when their head is upside down.**

* * *

**  
** Alicia hates how sunny it is. She hates the birds that are singing in the trees, she hates the group of laughing people that they drove past, she hates the sound of her own name as she listens to her mother and Nick calling for her.

Curling in on herself further, her chin digs into the flesh of her forearm as tears start to leak from her eyes again. Part of her is waiting for her dad to find her, to take her in his arms and wipe them away. A small part of her (and how she hates that part) knows that he’s not going to do that.

Because he’s lying in a wooden box, waiting to be lowered into the ground.

They didn’t even let her see him one last time.

A loud sob escapes her and Alicia clamps her hand over her mouth. She doesn’t want them to find her. She doesn’t want the people coming to see her dad to look at her with the same sad eyes and speak the same words to her over and over again. She wants to go home. She wants her dad.

She looks down at her arm. The words are smudging from her tears, but they’re still legible.

**tell me something weird about animals?**

The shrub that she’s hiding behind rustles and Madison bursts into view before Alicia can move. All she can do is gaze up at her mother, tears cascading down her cheeks and she lets herself get swept up in her arms. Madison sits on the grass and pulls Alicia onto her lap. Her mother hugs her fiercely, letting Alicia wail into her shoulder.

It only makes Alicia cry harder, because it’s not the same.

Alicia never does get a reply.

* * *

  
Alicia doesn’t like Travis. She doesn’t like the way he tries to talk to her with a father voice. His smile is wrong, his laugh is wrong, his whole person is wrong. Alicia listens bitterly as her mother’s answering laughter reaches her ears. Beside her, Nick stands abruptly, the kitchen chair clattering against the floor as it tips over and he storms out of the room.

Alicia ignores their mother calling after him, the words that her father once lovingly spun for her about soulmates rattling around in her head.

As if the universe knows how to make her feel worse, Alicia sees and feels the letters forming on her wrist.

**_a baby echidna is called a puggle_ **

Alicia pushes her plate away, standing from her chair and stomping to her room. She knows it’s petty to slam the door but she does it anyway before flopping down onto her bed. The earbuds that she shoves into her ears vibrate and pulse to the beat of her music, and Alicia turns it up as loud as it can go to drown out her own thoughts.

She ignores the words on her wrist.

* * *

**  
I met someone.**

Alicia frowns at the words on her arm, debating whether or not she should wipe them away. Why is she even doing this?  She barely knows her soulmate; she shouldn't be feeling like she’s betraying someone who is essentially a stranger.

Her phone lies on the bed beside her, the screen displaying the text chain between her and Matt. His last text seems to shine brighter than the rest of them, which Alicia knows is silly.

_Maybe we can go get ice cream together sometime?_

Alicia isn’t stupid. She knows what Matt’s asking and honestly, she wants to say yes. Matt’s nice. She’s known him for years. He’s sweet to her, and he makes her laugh with his jokes, and she lets him walk her to class. He’s talented, and kind, and passionate, and he _listens_ to her when she talks about how suffocating it is to be in LA.

They both know they’re not each other's soulmates, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not like she’s going to see Elyza any time soon, with her soulmate living on the other side of the world and all. It’s nice to have company.

Alicia doesn’t expect a response when she scribbled the words onto her arm, so she does a double take when the bright red ink appears under her words.

**_im happy for you_ **

She expected those words even less.

**I thought you would be opposed to the idea.**

**_yeah we're each other's soulmates but that doesnt mean we own each other. youre allowed to do whatever or whomever you want_ **

It takes Alica another six minutes before she manages to get herself to hit send on her message to Matt.

_I would love to._

* * *

_  
_ The once comforting and familiar scent that clings to the blankets does nothing to calm her frayed emotions. Alicia bites the pillow again, muffling the sob that escapes her throat. She doesn’t want to close her eyes, even though they are burning and bloodshot from the hours of crying that she has done. Her throat is parched, and she knows that her mother and Travis gave up trying to coax her out of the room a while ago.

She never wants to emerge from these blankets ever again because Susan and Matt are gone.

Susan, the woman who helped raise her. Who held her countless times while she mourned her father. Who made a point everyday to make her smile when Alicia thought she could never smile again. Who Alicia loved just as much as her own mother, maybe more. Gone, a bullet put through her skull after trying to maul her own husband.

Her sweet, sweet Matt. Matt, who took care of her when everyone else was too busy taking care of themselves. Matt, who danced to silly pop music only when they were alone together because it was only then that he really let himself go. Gone, and now probably wandering around as one of those… _things_.

She shuts her eyes, immediately regretting it as her mind recalls the sheen of sweat on his feverish skin, the way he gasped for breath. She remembers the way he used to hold her hand as they walked around LA, how he used to hold her when they skipped class and hid behind the school sign. The sound of his gentle laugh, the crinkle of his eyes as he smiled all blurs together until she imagines how he would most likely look now, dead and empty and hungry for human flesh, and Alicia feels like throwing up.

The blankets and the blackness suddenly press down around her and she flings the covers off, gasping for breath. She stumbles over to the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet as her stomach heaves fruitlessly. Nothing comes out but Alicia continues to dry heave into the bowl. Eventually, her legs give out and she falls against the vanity next to her, curling up on the cold tiled floor and she doesn’t _(can’t)_ stop the loud sobs that echo around the tiny bathroom.

Alicia doesn’t know how long she sits there but she falls asleep at some point, blinking awake blearily and judging by the moonlight streaming in from the window, it’s pretty late. Her stomach has settled, and she’s very aware of the deep ache that settles into her joints and her limbs. Getting to her feet is a difficult task and she has to steady herself with both hands on the vanity. The cool water that she splashes across her face only makes her raw cheeks sting.

Her feet carry her on autopilot over to the bed and she collapses onto it, too exhausted to even get under the covers. As tired as she is, she doubts that her over-active imagination will let her sleep.

Her eyes drift over the room, eventually settling on the object next to the letter that Susan had written for Patrick. It takes several passes of the same letter before the ink makes any lasting mark on her skin, but the words form nonetheless.

**Please tell me you’re okay**

* * *

**  
** The room is musty and dark, and she can hear the steady _drip drip drip_ of a leaking pipe somewhere, but it’s got four walls and two solid metal doors. She’ll take it.

Elyza pushes the sweaty hair out of her face and jostles the thick rebar rods that she slotted through the door handles. She’s not strong enough to bend the ends for more security, but it’ll have to do for now.

The lights refuse to turn on despite her repeated flicks of the switch, and Elyza sighs. The sliver of moonlight shining in from the small, high window on one of the walls will have to do. She can’t afford to use her torch until she manages to find more batteries.

Her hands work on autopilot as she sets up her small camp for the night. The tiny sleeping bag she brought over with her is rolled out over the floor and she settles on top of it, making a face at the general hardness of the floor. There’s nothing to entertain her as she chews her way through a packet of beef jerky and she knows her stomach is going to hate her tomorrow, but it’s all she has left. Elyza sighs; she’ll have to go for a supply run tomorrow. So much for having a rest day.

She’s on her last piece of meat when the shaky words appear on her skin. Her eyes widen, stuffing the jerky into her mouth at once and she tosses the empty packet away. She doesn’t even know if she’s got something to write with.

It takes a while and Elyza has to pull out most of the things from her bag, but she finds a marker tucked into the deep recesses of her bag eventually.

**_im alive, if thats what youre asking_ **

Elyza doesn’t get a reply. She stops staring at her arm after a while and carefully rearranges her belongings back into her bag, zipping the pen into one of the outer pockets of her pack.

Alicia asks her the same question again the next day, and Elyza gives the same response. It happens over and over again until Elyza starts a tally, drawing one simple mark on her upper arm every day at the same time. Evidently Alicia gets the hint and she starts doing the same, but not before one more thing appears over the flesh of Elyza's palm.

**Thank you.**

* * *

**  
** Admittedly, Alicia isn’t thinking properly when she digs the bottle of ink and the needles out from their carefully concealed place in her drawers. Stuffing them into her pockets, she stalks into Susan’s house, pointedly ignoring the blood splatter on the ground in the backyard. It doesn't take long for the kettle to boil and Alicia retraces Matt’s fading design on her forearm with permanent marker as the needle cools.

She brings all the equipment she needs into Susan’s bedroom and tries not to think too much about the room’s owner, or Matt, as she dips the needle into the ink. This house and the memories attached to it are too painful, but she can’t stop using it as a retreat. She sleeps in the bed that she used to take afternoon naps in, eats her meals at the table where Su-Su used to feed her, sits in the bathtub where she used to splash around in. Alicia has to stop and squeeze her eyes shut to calm herself.

The sting of the needle helps a lot. Alicia finds it easier to focus when the tip pierces her flesh, the ink blooming under her skin. It takes the better part of an hour to finish and by the time she does, her vision is a little woozy. She presses a clean cloth to the wound and chugs down three whole glasses of water.

Alicia falls into an uneasy sleep, her whole body bent awkwardly and her feet slipping off the chair seat.

* * *

  
In retrospect, she should have realised that the stinging on her forearm the next morning would be quite horrendous. Alicia has to ice it for an hour before the swelling goes down. The first aid kit in the pantry turns out to be quite a treasure, and she wastes no time in slapping some antibacterial cream on the fresh tattoo and covers it with some thin gauze. Retrieving another ice pack from the freezer and pressing it to her arm, Alicia ponders her predicament.

She just gave herself a tattoo without consent from Elyza. Alicia knows that most tattoos are agreed upon by both people before they’re inked on. It’s common courtesy, and she can’t really blame her emotions on her lack of judgement.

**So that drawing on your arm… I may or may not have given us a tattoo last night**

Her soulmate doesn’t respond for a long time, and it’s not until that evening until she gets a reply.

**_not my first choice but its nice so i dont mind it_ **

**I’m glad you’re not mad at me. I should’ve asked first, I’m sorry.**

**_nah its fine. at least its not a dick_ **

A long pause.

**_although if you want boobs tattooed on yourself im all for it_ **

The snort that escapes Alicia unbidden rings throughout the room. Staring incredulously at the words on her arm, she’s surprised at herself when she responds. She draws a 3 on its back, and adds two dots as nipples and waits for Elyza’s response.

**_not bad, not bad. although if you were getting boobs tattooed on yourself I would suggest mine cause they’re fantastic boobs_ **

**_i got that good earth cleavage_ **

There’s a slight shake in the lettering, almost as if they writer was laughing and Alicia hears herself laughing too, the sheer absurdity of the words on her arms slicing through the numbness that seems to be her new norm.

**I’d have to see them before I can draw them, you know.**

**_?!?!?!? oh my god youre flirting back????? this is officially the best day ever???_ **

Alicia tips her head back and laughs again, loud and genuine and it’s the lightest she’s felt in a while.

* * *

  
Every day at four o’clock on the dot, a new bold black line appears on the inside of Alicia’s upper arm.

Everyday at four o’clock, Alicia will sigh in relief and add a new line to her other arm.

Both Alicia and Elyza know that it’s a bad idea to start talking to each other more, that getting invested and attached to each other is a terrible idea now that the dead walk and have a serious case of the munchies for human flesh. But Alicia can’t help it; talking with Elyza is the one highlight of her days now, and she feels less alone, less hollow when she does.

The clock ticks monotonously on the wall opposite her. 3:59 and 42 seconds. Alicia is staring at Elyza’s marks and hoping, praying that a new one turns up.

3:59 and 48 seconds. Nothing.

3:59 and 56 seconds. Nothing.

4:00.

Nothing.

Alicia blinks in confusion, counting the marks again. There are the same amount as there were a minute ago and there shouldn't be. She rubs at her eyes. The marks stay the same.

Panic starts to rises in her chest but she forces it down. Maybe she had just run out of ink and was trying to find a new pen. Maybe Elyza was busy fortifying her place to stay for the night. Maybe Elyza simply forgot.

But Alicia knows it’s not possible. Elyza once made a hasty scribble of a line of her arm one day while being chased by a group of Walkers, and Alicia had written paragraph after paragraph on her leg, chastising her. Alicia prays that her soulmate is just listening to her and waiting for safety before she draws her mark.

The clock on the wall ticks by loudly and continuously, and Alicia can feel the dread growing and growing.

4:15.

4:20.

4:30.

Elyza’s mark still hasn’t appeared by 5 o’clock.

Sometime during the wait, Alicia had slipped from the seat to the floor and she curls around herself. Her hands are shaking violently, her chest burning from anxiety and from breathing so fast. Distantly, a part of her knows that she has to calm down but all she can do is stare at the accumulation of Elyza’s marks on her arm, waiting for an additional one to be added.

She can’t lose her; not now, not after the loss of Matt and Susan and life as she knows it. Elyza has been her one anchor, the only one that she’s been able to talk to since this whole mess started. She can’t lose her too.

"You haven't moved for a while."

Alicia startles, glancing at Madison crouching beside her and returns to watching her arm because maybe in that short three or four seconds, a new line had shown itself.

She blinks her burning eyes several times, hiding her face behind her other arm. She has no idea how long her mother has been watching her or when she'd even entered the room, but from her concerned expression and the comment, it’s safe to assume that it had been a while already.

“Those marks… they’re from your soulmate?”

Alicia nods mutely. “She’s alive. She has to be.”

She sees Madison’s expression change to one of understanding. She doesn’t want pity, she doesn’t want meaningless words of reassurance. Alicia wants to know if her soulmate is alive and okay.

“You’ll know if she’s dead. The pain and the shock makes sure you know.”

Alicia’s head whips around to face her mother. Madison is regarding her with a sad smile, her eyes far away and distant.

“I knew immediately when your dad died. It woke me up, and I knew before the police even came to deliver the news.”

“What --” Alicia has to clear her blocked throat before she can talk. “What does it feel like?”

“It feels like someone’s taken a blunt melon baller to your soul. You’ll feel like someone has ripped you apart in such a way that you’ll never be whole again. The pain… it’s impossible to describe. But you’ll know. If all you’re feeling now is anxiety, then she’s alive.”

Madison wants to stay with Alicia, hold her while they wait but she doesn’t think Alicia would take to it too well. So instead she leans forward, kissing her daughter’s forehead briefly before standing up again.

“I’ll bring dinner for you when it’s done. Please try to eat some?”

Alicia nods minutely, never taking her eyes off her arm. She hears Madison’s soft footsteps retreating and the back door clicking shut before she lets out the breath that she had been holding. Her mother’s words have lit a spark of hope in her chest, and she’s grateful. But her stomach is still churning and the fear gripping at her makes it impossible to do anything else.

So she waits.

She waits curled up on the floor and eyes fixed to the marks, not even looking up when Madison returns a short while later and deposits a plate of food in front of her. Her mother drapes a blanket around her and watches her with worried eyes, and Alicia gives her a grateful smile and scoops a spoonful of curry and rice into her mouth to assuage her concern.

Finally, _finally_ , at seven o’clock, a bold red line appears next to the collection on Alicia’s arm. Alicia lets out a sob of relief, her thumb rubbing over the new mark to make sure that it’s actually there, that she hasn’t finally gone mad and started imagining things. The mark stays put, and the relief that washes over is enough to make the tears that stopped a little while ago start up again. It takes her a few minutes to calm down again, and she reaches out for the pen lying a little away from her. She doesn’t even know what to say; what do you say to someone who you had a panic attack over because you thought was dying slowly for the past three hours?

**Are you okay?**

She doesn’t have to wait long for the reply. Instead of words, she watches as a crudely drawn green dragon appears on the skin of her arm. Orange flames spout from its mouth, roasting what Alicia assumes are three walkers. Elyza scrawls something underneath.

**_being a dragon would just make this so much easier cause portable flamethrower and wings_ **

**You do know that dragons don’t exist, right?**

**_hey im the animal expert here_ **

**Yes, but big bad Elyza Lex still isn’t a dragon.**

**_i think this is the most hurt ive been since the walkers started walking_ **

**_and im fine and i hope you are too_ **

**I am. Just worried about you.**

Alicia’s chest has loosened significantly, the cold dread lifting from her but the panic and anxiety are still too fresh on her mind. She feathers the tip of her finger over the outline of the dragon.

**Please stay safe.**

_always do, soul sister_    


* * *

**  
**_The Abigail_ is huge. Alicia spends half an hour getting deliberately lost in its maze of corridors below deck, eager to put some distance between her and the other people that she boarded with. Both Manawas had locked themselves into their respective rooms after Chris screamed and raged at his father, and the silence that settles over the rest of them is stifling. Daniel and Ofelia are huddled together, grieving silently and Madison is still sitting in front of Travis’s door, trying to coax him to let her in. Nick has disappeared with Strand, and Alicia doesn’t feel like following them. She doesn’t like the feeling that Strand gives her. Plus, given what has happened in the last twenty four hours, Alicia is desperate to be alone.

She finds a tiny room near the back of the ship tucked between a utility closet and a dormant machine room. There’s a decently sized window on the wall that lets the cool sea breeze in and a lumpy mattress in the corner. It’s perfect.

As the days trickle past agonizingly slowly, Alicia finds herself in that room almost every waking moment. She had discovered the first few nights how truly awful that mattress was to actually sleep on, and she vacates the dining room as quickly as she can after meals to retreat back to her sanctuary. Most of her day is spent lying on the mattress and flicking through channels of a small radio that she had managed to convince Travis to let her listen to. There’s nothing but static but it still manages to distract herself from her thoughts; being left alone with her thoughts is the last thing she needs.

She misses Matt more and more everyday. She misses the friends that she had at school, she misses Susan, she misses her social media accounts. She misses basic human contact and if not for Elyza, she would have gone mad by now.

Alicia had relayed the events of the past week to her soulmate, the words stretching down her entire left leg and bleeding onto the right. Elyza listens to the whole tale before she talks again, and their ensuing conversation has Alicia writing over her right leg and both her arms and all over her stomach. It leaves her feeling more like an actual human being for the first time since they boarded the damn boat.

Elyza flirts with Alicia outrageously, more affectionate and playful, and unleashes what seems like her entire arsenal of painfully bad pickup lines on her. Alicia knows that she’s trying to make her laugh, to make her feel better and she is infinitely grateful for it because it’s working. Even so, Elyza answers her sparingly for short periods at a time before disappearing for hours. Alicia’s worried about what that means about Elyza's safety, and there’s more than enough room on the boat for one more person.

But there’s nothing that she can say to make Elyza give her the smallest clue about where she is. She had vehemently opposed Alicia coming to find her, whatever city she was in being overrun by walkers and looters alike.

It frustrates her to no end, and she lives her days between Elyza’s replies. Her excursions to the upper deck and her duties are carried out woodenly. She finds herself praying to a God that she doesn’t think exists every night, praying for the safety and the life of her soulmate.  


* * *

_  
We’re going to die._ Alicia thinks.

Beside her, Chris, almost in hysterics, throws his entire body at the locked door. He bounces off it immediately, almost crashing backwards into the opposite wall.

“Don’t just stand there, help me!” He yells, uncaring of the racket that he’s making. Under any other situation, Alicia would tell him to shut up but when the only way out of the alley that they’re in is currently being blocked by walkers, she could give less of a shit. Chris rattles the door handle again uselessly, and Alicia drops the bag of salvaged supplies from her shoulder and yanks at his arm.

“Come on, let’s both try it.”

Even the weight of two bodies colliding against it doesn’t dislodge the door, and Alicia hisses at the sharp throb in her shoulder. The death moans of the walkers grow increasingly loud as they shamble closer, and Alicia resigns herself to fate. The baseball bat hanging limp from her fingers suddenly feels like lead, but she hauls it up to batting position anyway.

She was not going down without a damn fight.

Beside her, Chris clearly thinks the same because he’s hefting his machete until the tip is pointed straight at the walkers.

“Alicia-”

Whatever goodbye he’s about to say is cut off by the loud gunshot that pierces through the air. Alicia almost sobs in relief, and the walkers turn around slowly to face the source of the gunshot and the… singing?

Alicia can’t catch a glimpse of their saviour through the bodies of the walking dead, but she can certainly hear them. It’s a female voice and through the sick _thwacks_ of a solid object against solid skulls, Alicia can distinctly hear the melody to Ride of the Valkyries. The stranger times their hits perfectly with the singing, the noises of the walkers providing a sick background choir for the rescue. The stranger finishes off the crowd with brutal efficiency and it’s not long until she’s standing in front of them.

The first thing Alycia notices is the sheer amount of weapons on her body. What she assumes is an assault rifle is slung across her back and Alicia spies the handle of a machete peeking out from behind her left shoulder. There are at least three handguns strapped to her waist and another two large knives holstered to her thighs.

Something about the way she carries herself resonates within Alicia. When she finally trails her eyes up to the stranger’s face, she feels like _she’s_ taken a bat to the head.

The metal of the baseball bat makes a solid _thunk_  as the woman plants the end against the ground. She lets it lean against her leg and pushes the sleeves of her jacket up.

“Gotta say, running into a dead end alleyway while bein’ chased by the walkers probably ain’t your finest choice.”

Beside her, Chris bristles at the words. He puffs his chest up and opens his mouth to retort but is stopped as Alicia stumbles forward.

“Alicia?” Chris's hand closes around her wrist, but she shakes it off without thought. All she can focus on is the stranger in front of her. 

The knees of the blonde’s jeans are ripped, almost like they had been shredded after a particularly nasty fall. Her black shirt, leather jacket and combat boots are all sporting chunks of gore from the dead but Alicia can’t stop looking at her. Her feet carry her forward without her knowing, as if some other force is pulling her towards the stranger. Her mind is blank and something deep inside her _clicks_. Alicia feels like she’s known this stranger her whole life, known her for _lives_. She feels like she’s coming home.

The stranger remains still, the cocky expression on her face being replaced by one of utter bewilderment as she walks forward slowly too.

They meet in the middle. Green eyes meet blue before Alicia’s gaze slides down to the stranger’s arm. There, on the pale skin of her forearm, is the same drawing that Alicia so very thoughtlessly tattooed onto herself all those months ago.

Alicia pushes the sleeve of her jacket up and presents it to the stranger, watching as her lips part in understanding. They both know there is only one explanation, and Alicia can’t keep the tremble out of her voice.

“Elyza?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, life got super hectic then I got smacked in the face with overwatch. this was originally going to be much longer, but i have bits and pieces written everywhere and I decided that something is better than nothing.

Elyza manages to win everyone over pretty quickly. Alicia only needs to tell them that the blonde saved her and Chris’s lives and everyone, save for Strand and Daniel, welcomes her with mostly open arms. Daniel eyes the weapons strapped to her body and the ones sticking out of her pack and he gives a small nod, but the look he gives her when he passes her to leave the room makes it very clear that he will be watching her closely. Strand grills Elyza for over half an hour and even then, his permission to let her stay is reluctant at best. He makes it clear in no uncertain terms that if she screws them over or doesn’t pull her weight, he’ll throw her off the damn boat himself. Elyza simply smirks and gives him a mock salute.

Strand’s eye twitches but he lets it go, sweeping out of the room and calling for Elyza to follow him. Elyza sighs and picks up her pack, hoisting it onto her shoulder and gives Alicia a wink and a smile before she leaves.

Alicia doesn’t know how to process the events of the last few hours. It’s been a long day and the weary ache of almost dying settles deeply into her bones, so she takes to the deckchair she sleeps in more often than not and watches the stars overhead silently.

 

* * *

 

 

Elyza sleeps for two days straight. She wakes to Madison hovering over her, one hand on her shoulder as she shakes her awake.

“Sorry.” Madison smiles apologetically. “You’ve been out for two days already, and we just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Breakfast will be ready soon too, so feel free to join us if you’re up for it.”

It takes a few moments before Elyza even registers who Madison is. “Thank you.” She croaks, her voice hoarse from disuse.

The older woman nods. “Dining room is just up the staircase at the end of the hall, second door to your left.” With that, she leaves, shutting the door behind her quietly.

Apart from the quiet “good morning” she gets at breakfast, Alicia doesn’t talk to her at all. They sit on opposite sides of the room, but all Elyza can focus on is her soulmate’s presence. Her eyes wander to Alicia without her noticing, and she feels like every atom of her body is being pulled in the direction of her soulmate. She’s gripped with the sudden want to be close to her, to finally be able to catch up on the years they spent apart but she keeps her distance. She may be Alicia’s soulmate but there are still boundaries, and Elyza doesn’t want to make a bad impression on her first day awake on the new safe haven.

Alicia doesn’t talk to anyone, choosing instead to wolf down her food and she leaves the room as soon as she’s finished. Elyza smiles at Travis and accepts the seconds that he’s offering, but her eyes are fixed on Alicia’s back as she disappears below deck. Elyza doesn’t push it; she has a good idea of how overwhelmed it is to be so close to each other after being apart for so long.

It’s unseasonably warm for this time of the year, and Elyza digs out her tank tops and short shorts from the depths of her pack and spends the whole day lounging around in the sun. She has a good, long conversation with Nick and they fish in silence for hours. Weeks of non-stop running and _surviving_ have left her body taut and rigid, and Elyza can feel the many knots and new scars that she’s managed to accumulate. She stays rooted to her position on the deck as the sun sets, watching as the stars emerge from the black inky sky.

It’s finally late enough that the moon is fully overhead in the sky, and Elyza marvels at the sheer amount of stars that twinkle into view thanks to the lack of light pollution. She stands, popping her back and lets her feet take her through the boat, wandering along the decks and she eventually finds a nice little spot on the starboard. There are a few deck chairs scattered about and lounges line the side of the boat. Elyza collapses into one of the deck chairs, sighing as her body sinks into the cushions. The waves rock the boat gently, and the motion combined with the quiet sound of the water almost lulls Elyza to sleep again. She’s just about to doze off when she hears a set of footsteps making its way up the closest set of stairs. They pad onto the deck and stop abruptly. Elyza cracks open one eye to see who it is.

It’s Alicia.

Their gazes lock, and Alicia opens her mouth to say something but stops just short. An uncomfortable silence stretches on, staring at each other until Elyza eventually speaks up. “I can leave, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine.” Alicia shuffles forward until she’s hovering awkwardly next to the deck chair next to Elyza, and she sits stiffly. The silence stretches on, and Elyza picks at the packet of cigarettes that Daniel had pressed into her hands earlier in the day.

“You’re the one who drew a cartoon poop on my hand the very first time we made contact.”

“You’re the one who scribbled out my masterpiece in purple sparkle ink immediately afterwards.”

A hint of a smile graces Alicia’s lips, and Elyza immediately decides that she wants to see that smile more. Alicia turns to face her fully and nods at the lettering and picture on the front of her tank top.

“Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs?”

“My rugby team from back home.” A pause. “Weren’t doin’ so well the last time I checked. The Good Friday match was absolutely brutal.”

Alicia doesn’t know how to respond. “I’m… sorry?”

Elyza heaves a great sigh. “Well, doesn’t matter now.”

The conversation tapers off again, and she has absolutely no idea what to say. Her hands fumble with the carton but she manages to pull a cigarette out, holding it between her lips as she lights it. The smoke that she breathes deeply into her lungs burns, but the familiar sensation calms her. So much for quitting.

She watches Alicia out of the corner of her eye, watching as the other girl sneaks glances at her. Elyza doesn’t miss the way Alicia’s gaze travels down her legs and over the bare expanse of her shoulders and arms. Normally, she’d laugh and tease, but Elyza finds herself similarly affected by the slope of Alicia’s neck, the sharp lines of her collarbones and the way her brown, curled hair falls over her bare shoulders.

She’s beautiful.

Elyza’s normally pretty confident around pretty girls, but Alicia leaves her stunned. Her wit and her words fail her, and the silence stretches on for what feels like hours. The rocking of the ship and the sounds of the waves has her fighting to keep her eyes open, and Elyza almost excuses herself so she can sleep before Alicia speaks again.

“What were you doing in the US?”

“I was on annual leave. Wanted to get out of the country for a bit so I threw a dart at a wall map and it landed on San Diego.” Elyza snorts. “All hell broke loose the day before I was supposed to fly back. I’m essentially stuck here.”

“I’m sorry. Your family must be worried.”

Elyza lights another cigarette with the embers of the last one before she speaks again. She’s going to need it if they’re going to have this conversation. “Wow, we really didn’t talk much at all, did we?”

Alicia looks at her blankly. “No, we didn’t.”

Elyza takes a long drag before she continues. “My parents are dead. Drunk truckie t-boned them at an intersection when I was eleven. I’ve been thrown from foster home to foster home until I joined the army the minute I could.”

Shock flits over Alicia’s face, and Elyza waits for the pity that usually follows.

“My dad was the same.”

The confession is quiet, and Elyza’s head snaps around to look at her companion. Alicia continues on, pointedly not looking at her.

“He was driving home from a conference out of town one night. Some driver fell asleep at the wheel and drifted out of his lane. Head on collision, neither one of them survived.”

“I’m sorry.”  

Alicia shakes her head.  “We really don’t know each other, don’t we?”

“I suppose we don’t.”

“No one who’ll miss you back home?”

The question leaves Elyza more choked up than she is comfortable with. She takes one last pull of her cigarette, and throws it into the ocean below them.

“How about we start from the beginning?”

 

* * *

 

It becomes routine for Elyza to meet Alicia on the starboard deck lounges. Some nights they are content to just sit side by side on different deck chairs, completely silent but thankful for the company. Other nights they will talk about anything and everything until their voices are raw. Slowly, piece by piece, they fill each other in about their lives.

Alicia is so far removed from the other occupants of the boat; she latches onto Elyza and the blonde lets her. Alicia doesn’t know how much of it is because she’s finally glad that there’s someone she can talk to or how much of it is her own soul crying out for its mate. It takes her a while to figure out that it’s both, and a little longer to figure out that she’s okay with it.

It takes a week before they graduate to sitting side by side on the lounges, their shoulders pressed together through their sleeping bags. It takes another two until Alicia falls asleep against Elyza with her head resting on the blonde’s shoulder.

Elyza’s lower back is begging her to use a proper bed, to stop falling asleep propped upright with Alicia pressed against her side and essentially sharing the same sleeping bag. But she never really slept well even before the world went to shit, and being close to Alicia feels the closest to home that she has ever felt. Alicia’s touch simmers against her skin and her mind seems to be storing away every sound, every word that emerges from her soulmate’s lips as if it was trying to make up for the many years that they were apart. Alicia always ends up moulded against Elyza’s side and they always fall asleep pressed against each other. Elyza sleeps better than she ever has in her entire life, and thankfully, _mercifully_ , she does not dream.

So quite frankly, her back can just suck it up.


End file.
